Only my mind exists. Everything else is untrue, untested, hypothetical. What is in here, certain, tested, real. What is in my mind makes the outside world. Creates a vision, places me in it, replacing any other previous construct.

The idea that the only place that really exists is the space I create in my brain worries me. My mind is an often cluttered place. Deep holes, high walls, fantastical creations, far removed from the physical realm. However, what if this could be true? What if the vision I lay down in my mind can be the path I take.

Plan a route. Follow the path. Exist where you want to be.

I used to spend hours thinking like this. Weighing every decision. Planning out what would happen after every eventuality, no matter how trite. Trying to work out a reaction to whichever route a situation would resolve into. It became tiresome. I didn’t sleep much.

The time spent trying to guide things where I wanted to them. Never letting things just happen for the sake of it. Wasted. By trying to make the physical world act as my solipsist outlook wanted it became; Functionally; self focused. Purposefully; pointless.

As I have grown I have thought like this less and less. I realised that it was not a healthy, or productive way to exist. Reality has moved outwards, encompassed more options, brought in people that matter to me. I’ve realised that I cannot predict, or account for, every eventuality. There are too many variables. Too many choices. I’ve found myself adopting a new firmware for how my brain works. One that allows me to still plan, but looser, allowing for adaptation in most cases.

Still I plan. Not as much. But I plan for what I want to do with my life. Of late I’ve started to ignore variables. What is done is done, move on to the next step. Progress, not regress. Things may appear bad at the time, but that time passes instantaneously  Don’t let regrets, or past mistakes rule you.

Clip in, pedal off, move forward.

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