Two weeks off the bike have given me time to think. I’ve become somewhat of an expert at it. Thinking about things that could be. Things that should be. Things that will be.
My maps for the Tour Divide have arrived and I’ve resisted the urge to dive into them, to become obsessed by the route, to focus on the micro instead of the macro.
Looking at the macro I know that I cannot ride. A three mile plod into work yesterday showed me that my legs can go round and round. But the three mile ride home showed me that they cannot do it after a day on my feet. Cue much pain, loss of potential, emotion. I’m still off the bike.
Without the simple ability to ride a bike I cannot see far enough ahead. I’ve put cycling to the side for now to focus on deadlines that loom – both real and figurative – to finish things that need to be put down. Writing, books, choices about direction.
On the plus side I have work that interests me for once. People I like meeting every day. People I can associate with about more than just coming to work. Looking forward to working is a nice feeling again. Finishing interesting writing projects a mental blessing.